Where to go from here?

Where do I go from here? We can't conceive on our own and because of DH's PKD we are unable to foster or adopt. I want to let go, but in deep I'm not sure I can do that. I can go days, sometimes weeks and be ok, then something will happen....a pregnancy test commercial, a pregnancy announcement, a cute baby outfit in the store, my hubby saying he wished he had a son.....then I cry and cry and cry and cry. I want to believe if God wants us to have a son He will guide us to how to make that happen. But here I sit without any options. Doors weren't just closed, they were slammed shut.