I go from being completely confident one minute to a complete mess the next. I'm now officially on that emotional rollercoaster of the 2ww! I need prayers today. I don't want to be crying and upset, but I'm having a hard time. I'm so scared that I won't see that BFP this cycle.
Thanks for the prayers!
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We started our TTC journey on our honeymoon. Not long into our marriage we started fertility treatments, we were blessed in 2000 with a daughter. A month after her birth we opened ourselves up to creating a new life, 9 years, 31 medicated cycles, and countless attempts later, we are still trying for another miracle. We are also blessed to have another daughter from my previous relationship. I have PCOS and Hubby has MFI.
List of acronyms
- DBH - Decluttering Body and Home
- 2WW - two week wait
- E2 - estradiol
- DD (dear daughter)
- DH (Dear hubby)
- BFN - big fat negative (pregnancy test)
- BFP - big fat positive (pregnancy test)
- TTC - Trying to conceive
A little about me
I was diagnosed with PCOS in 1999. I don't ovulate on my own or even with the help of clomid, femera, metformin, or herbs. June/July/August cycle of follistim ended with a BFN. We are practicing Catholics and only do treatments within our religious beliefs.
We have seen 5 Reproductive Endocrinologists (RE) in the last 11 years. June always marks the anniversary of TTC. In May I was talking to DH and asked him what he wanted to do. Move onto adoption, return to foster parenting, or continue trying. To be surprise (and it was a wonderful surprise!) he said he wanted to see an RE again. I called the next day and had an appointment less than a week later! June 2nd DH and I went to see our 5th RE, sadly were unable to conceive under his care either.
This is a dream we will never give up on!
We have seen 5 Reproductive Endocrinologists (RE) in the last 11 years. June always marks the anniversary of TTC. In May I was talking to DH and asked him what he wanted to do. Move onto adoption, return to foster parenting, or continue trying. To be surprise (and it was a wonderful surprise!) he said he wanted to see an RE again. I called the next day and had an appointment less than a week later! June 2nd DH and I went to see our 5th RE, sadly were unable to conceive under his care either.
This is a dream we will never give up on!
Updated 11/16/11 - Wow 2 years, it has been two years since I have been to this blog. I actually forgot it was here until today. God is full of miracles. This is my third month of an almost normal period. I'm accepting this has a ray of hope from God. I won't be doing any herbs, or fertility drugs, I won't be going crazy temping or watching signs. But I will work on my weight, eating better, and praying that God will bless us just one more time!
Update 11/8/09 - My husband has been diagnosed with Polycystic Kidney Disease, as the disease progresses he will have no "troops" to make natural conception possible. This hit us very hard, but nothing is impossible with God, so we will continue to pray for another miracle, while also praying for acceptance of God's will.
Update 11/8/09 - My husband has been diagnosed with Polycystic Kidney Disease, as the disease progresses he will have no "troops" to make natural conception possible. This hit us very hard, but nothing is impossible with God, so we will continue to pray for another miracle, while also praying for acceptance of God's will.
My Prayers
- January 4 - God, please help all those praying to become mothers realize their dreams. If not on their own, than with the miracle of adoption. Praise be to God!
- January 3, 2010 - Dear God, Please give me peace as I work on the room we had always hoped would be a nursery.
- December 26 - Dear God Please protect all the unborn babies in the world and the mothers that carry them.
- July 20 - Dear God, I know your timing is best, so please give me the strength to accept today's results and the results I will receive on Thursday.
- July 18 - Dear God, I know everything is in Your time, not mine. I was so ready to start follistim yesterday, but I'm sure there is a reason that I must wait (besides the doctor saying so!). Please, if it be Your will, lower my E2 levels so I can start my medicine on Monday. Please help me to accept if my levels aren't low on Monday and continue to keep a positive attitude. Please take care of Tami and her baby. Please take care of all my friends and family! Amen
- July 16 - Dear God, Another day has started, please give me the strength and wisdom I need to get through today. Guide my words and actions with my family, friends, and all the people I meet today. Guide the doctors and nurses that will be caring for me tomorrow. Please have the call with Tami's beta numbers arrive early this morning and with great results!
- July 15 - Dear God, Yesterday I put my faith in other people's experiences and thoughts instead of in You. Please help me to stay positive about this cycle and keep looking to You when I begin to have fears.
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- Basiclly what is going on....
- I feel devastated
- Our appointment
- RE appointment on Monday
- Sense and Sensibility
- Not what I was expecting
- Called my RE office
- Onto a new cycle
- Humbling
- A baby called home
- The beta was negative
- No call yet.....
- Just waiting on my beta results
- It's over
- Fluttering
- Emotions
- Progesterone bloodwork
- Thinking positive!
- Emotions
- Once the test is positive
- Quote from one of my favorite Saints
- DH is so sweet
- No shots tonight
- Tonight is my trigger shot
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