Sense and Sensibility

I just finished watching my favorite movie Sense and Sensibility based on my favorite novel by my favorite author, Jane Austen. It made me cry, as always, but this time it really got me thinking. 200 years ago if a couple suffered from infertility there wasn't much that could be done. They could pray, use herbs, and maybe try some "old wives tales", but really it was all left completely to God. But likewise, everything was really left completely to God. If someone had cancer, they didn't have the medicines or the technology to help them. Science has come a long way. Our lives are longer, healthier, and when we become sick we have what we need to help us feel better. Infertility can now also be treated, it is amazing what science can do. But science, no matter how good, can never replace God.

Thanks to medicine we have our beautiful younger daughter and I don't regret anything that we did to conceive her. I don't regret a single treatment we have done to attempt another blessing. We have been extremely blessed to have the chance to try the medicines we have, but after some prayer we are wondering how much faith we are putting into the medicines and how much faith we are still keeping with God. We may never have another child without the medicines, but we may also try and try with the medicines and not conceive another miracle. God always answers our prayers, always, as long as we continue to pray. It is when we stop praying or believe that our prayers won't work, that our prayers go unanswered, but if we persist and never stop praying or believing our prayers will be answered. I have spent the past several days crying. I'm not always sure of what I'm crying about, exactly, I just know I'm hurting. DH and I have talked and prayed and we are going to take a break from the meds, for now. I'm not sure if this will be just a week or two, or a few months. We could use some prayers right now, as we try to listen and focus on what God is asking of us. We are putting our faith, our lives, our children and our future children completely into the hands of God.